The Tail Tales - Chapter 6 - The Guardian

Through the rest of the night, Andy sat, holding Ael in his lap. At occasions during the night, he would put his ear next to her nose to check if she was still breathing. Her deep sleep showed no signs of breaking as the night wore on. Pitch black darkness was both an ally and an enemy. Strange noises and sounds of breathing carried through to Andy, noises of creatures shuffling about and then stopping perhaps when another predator came close by. He felt that he was going crazy with the riot of activity happening in an otherwise empty night. He had had enough excitement to last him for a lifetime and longed for the comfort of his mother’s hug and the warmth of the kitchen back at home.

But, this was not to be and he continued to sit there staring into the black inky pool around them, peering desperately for some sign of help. At long last, his frayed nerves gave him away and he slumped in a deep doze. Around him, the inky blackness began to slowly withdraw as if the night were slowly and stealthily withdrawing her blanket. An ashen gray sky lay underneath, sickly in hue and weepy in its outlook. The orange yellow sun was late in coming up and hid shyly behind the thick tapestry of clouds that framed the horizon. The leaden yellow day watched Andy doze with Ael in his lap, the little boy in a world that he did not at all understand and was not prepared for.  The clouds sighed in regret as their hearts were heavy with all the rain they were carrying. They drifted in low as the weight dragged them down and as they drifted lower and lower, they started crying their regret for the events that had passed before. The drops were just a few stray ones and fell at random.

One such droplet fell down below into the clearing where Ael lay on Andy’s lap. The drop spiraled down, grape sized and clear, seemingly headed straight for the two of them. A drift of breeze caught it and tried to swing it away but the drop was resolute and held steady to its course. It fell straight and true to catch onto Ael’s right eye lashes. The drop tangled for a moment in the lashes and then seeped through to form a pool in the corner of her eye. Suddenly, the pool was shaken violently as her eyes opened and her clear green pupils stared up at the sky. Her eyes looked confused and disoriented as she struggled to figure out where she was and what had happened. And then she happened to look to her left and saw Andy’s slumped form and the confusion gave way to concern. She rose; half sat up and tried to shake Andy awake. The first couple of times gave no result as Andy seemed to be completely dead to the world. Finally, the third time, she shook him a little hard and he woke up with a start, a violent look in his eyes as if he was expecting the worst. He looked around a little wildly and then at her, his eyes softening at seeing her awake. He did not say anything and just leaned forward and hugged her in relief.

He got to his feet, a little uncomfortable about the show of emotion and as she tried to follow, she found that her feet were still a little unsteady. She almost fell and then finally, balanced herself with a lot of effort, still very wobbly on her feet. Andy asked her to lean on his shoulder and they set off up the mound, away from the field of the deadly flowers. The drizzle continued, feeling strangely refreshing as the water washed them down. As Ael struggled forward and covered some distance, her legs became better until after about a kilometer, she was able to walk on her own. By then the drizzle had slowed down to just a few droplets and the sky had cleared up. The weak yellow sun now surveyed the land as if deciding what to do next. They had almost reached the pool where Andy had drunk the water the previous evening. Both of them were thirsty and drank and washed their faces in the clear cool water.  Andy realized that he was very hungry and thought of going to hunt for the berries again. He asked Ael to sit there by the pool and went deeper into the shrubs searching for the berries. With the sun behind his back, he still stepped cautiously forward, half expecting some large creature or beast to make an appearance from behind a shrub. His breath coming quickly, Andy found no signs of the shrubs that he had seen yesterday. He decided he must have taken the wrong direction and tried to retrace his path back to the pool, looking for signs of his passing and heading back using the sun as a guide.

Suddenly, a huge cloud seemed to come up over him and the sky darkened almost instantly. Andy thought there was going to be further rain and started running back towards the pool so that Ael and he could find shelter. There was a complete silence around for some reason, like the calm before a storm. An uneasy tingle started in his spine and Andy quickened his pace. As he did, a sudden whoosh sounded some distance above him. Andy immediately remembered the happenings of the previous night and almost froze in panic. It took him an enormous effort to lift his head to look up and then his worst nightmare came true. Yellow Eyes was peering down at him like he was a morsel that needed nibbling and was starting to swoop down to get a taste. Andy then did the only thing that came to him in his panic, he hid. He ducked behind a rather large shrub and curled himself into a tight little ball underneath it. He could still see Yellow Eyes through a few gaps in the leaves. Yellow Eyes had stopped mid air at his sudden disappearance and was now turning and dropping down to where he had last been. In a couple of seconds, the beast was on the ground, its massive legs settled down among the shrubs, trampling a few of them like grass under its feet. One of its feet landed close to Andy and its talon came to rest right at the shrub under which Andy hid.

The claw, though small in comparison with the rest of the creature’s body, was about half of Andy’s size. It was dirty brown in color and looked sharp enough to tear him into two with a flick. Andy was mesmerized by it and watched it intently as the claw tapped the ground and then dug grooves into it as the creature shifted its weight and stepped around, searching for him. He glanced up to see that the creature was now bending down, sniffing as if searching for a scent of him. He held his breath, sure now that it was only moments before he got a very close look at those curved teeth. Suddenly, he heard a high pitched girlish voice screaming “Heeeyyyyyy”. Not once but several times, as if calling the attention of the creature. The creature must have heard it too, because, it immediately swung its head up and looked for the source of the sound. Andy realized that Ael must have come out into the open and screamed to draw the creature away, thinking that he was in danger. He cursed her stupidity while his brain explained that she had obviously done it for him. The creature must have seen her for it began to move away, each step of its massive feet causing the ground to tremble and shake and its wings flapping and raising a large cloud of dust.

The dust was everywhere and Andy started choking in it, unable to even see anything. He could only hear the creature moving away, gather pace now. Ael must have still been some distance away but not too far as the creature chose to run on the ground and not take flight. Andy stepped out from the under the shrub and started running in the direction of the sounds knowing full well that he could never outrun the creature and that it would get to Ael far before he could. Somewhere in the middle of all of this, Ael had stopped screaming. Andy prayed that she had the good sense to hide herself, knowing that neither of them had a chance of any kind against this creature.

All of a sudden, Andy heard a different kind of noise, a curious buzz, almost as if it was a high pitched scream. The air seemed to vibrate with the sound which seemed very powerful though obviously not so loud. It almost seemed like the warning growl that a very large dog gives before it attacks. Andy glanced over his shoulder as he continued to run behind Yellow Eyes. And he caught sight of the creature that looked like the one that had saved them the previous night. Only, this one was much larger, almost as if it had grown to about two times its size in the night. Powerful wings pushed it forward as it was swooping down, aiming at a little distance ahead of Andy, roughly the spot where Yellow Eyes was. Andy could see now that Yellow Eyes had sensed the presence of the second creature and had stopped and turned around as if preparing for a fight, raising itself on its hind legs, forelegs pulled up for attack and tail on the ground, steadying itself. Whatever it had been preparing itself for, Yellow Eyes did not expect what happened next.

The black creature simply launched itself like a missile streaking towards Yellow Eyes, not trying to stop or descend to the ground. Yellow Eyes must have realized this late as it started to turn and run away. But by then, it was too late. The black creature had slammed into Yellow Eyes, the impact causing a shock wave that threw Andy back clear off the ground.  He fell and lay there in a daze, shaking his head. Sounds of the two creatures still rolling came to him and he got to his feet, taking cover behind a shrub, hardly realizing that it was of no use at all. He saw that the two creatures were locked in a fierce embrace, forelegs gripping the torso of the other, hind legs kicking and tearing at the other’s belly while the jaws snapped in attempts to bite off portions of the other’s body. Yellow Eyes was clearly the bigger of the two and was heavier as a result. But the black creature was definitely more powerful, its legs easily deflecting away the other’s attacks and then tearing away. Its jaws too began to find weak spots on Yellow Eyes.  As the two massive creatures rolled around on the ground, they flattened everything around like a bunch of twigs in a carpet of grass that they trod on. Suddenly, Yellow Eyes let out what sounded like a scream. Andy could see that the black creature had buried its fangs deep in Yellow Eyes neck and was now pulling and tearing away. Yellow Eyes now struggled grimly to dislodge the hold and threw itself around on the ground. Finally, the both of them landed on a set of trees and the impact loosened the black creature’s hold. At once, Yellow Eyes took flight, flapping its wings a little weakly and desperately pushing away from its attacker.

Andy expected the black creature to take flight and follow Yellow Eyes, to go and finish what had started. But the creature simply got up and shook itself off. It then sat there, like a massive statue carved out of some ancient black rock, except for the rise and fall of its chest as it breathed. Andy suddenly thought that it had sighted Ael and was now shifting its focus to the girl. He broke into a run, desperately thinking of any way in which he could fight the creature. As he got closer, he realized that the creature was simply looking at something close to its feet and not even glancing up at him. He stopped and yelled at it, waving his arms about, trying to attract its attention. He did manage to briefly distract it, for it looked up at him and then quickly looked back down at its feet. Andy was now sure that it had found Ael. He suddenly came into the clearing where the creature sat, all bushes and shrubs around flattened into a green carpet by the mammoths struggling. And he saw Ael lying down at the creature’s feet. He ran to her and tried to lift her and speak to her, only to realize that she was unconscious. There was no visible sign of any injury and Andy thought that she must have been hit by a branch or a shrub during the tussle.

Andy looked up and saw the creature simply looking down, its red black eyes not showing any signs of attack. He tried to pull Ael away from there but he was too weak after the entire struggle and could not move more than a few feet. He finally sank down to the ground, holding Ael and almost sobbed in frustration. At that instant, the creature moved forward and grabbed hold of them. Andy screamed as he felt the powerful claws go around him and Ael, thinking that this was it and that they were going to be crushed. But the claws simply held them like a cage, not squeezing but holding. The creature then simply pushed itself off into the air with its powerful hind legs. One flap of its mighty wings and it was airborne, high above the ground. Andy felt the wind rushing past him as the creature simply glided through the air, only flapping its wings occasionally. A few seconds later, he realized that they were descending. And could see a pool of water far below on the ground. It looked like the pool where they had drunk earlier. The creature descended swiftly and once on the ground, simply set Andy and Ael down on a patch of grass. It then sat back and once again watched them motionlessly.

Andy realized that the creature had brought them to water thinking they would need some. It seemed to be helping them in some way though Andy could not think of any reasons why.  A flood of thoughts ran through his head, starting from the earlier episodes of the stone and how it had always shielded them or protected them. How he had imagined seeing a tail inside it. And how, during the previous night and just then, the creature had fought off Yellow Eyes. As he struggled to understand what had happened, he realized that in this hostile and unknown land they were in, they now seemed to have a guardian of sorts though by the looks of it, the guardian could well change its mind and snack on them in a minute. The sheer relief of having someone on his side was too much for Andy and he just sank his head to the ground weakly. An instant later, he felt a warm moist breeze pass over him and looked up to see the creature breathing down on him, close above, as if enquiring whether he was OK. The rows of sharp curving fangs stretched backwards just a few feet away from his face. But they oddly did not seem threatening or scary any more.

Andy stood up and walked down to the pool of water, gathered some in his cupped hands and walked back to Ael. He splashed some on her face and as she sputtered awake, her eyes filled with alarm at the sight of the creature that loomed over them. Andy then reassured her of the creature’s intentions and proceeded to brief her on the sequence of events thus far and more importantly, share with her the fact that they now had a guardian. The creature was certainly no angel but for now, that seemed far less important. As Ael stared at the creature, still not believing anything that Andy had said, the creature simply extended its fore leg with its claws. The claws now stood inches away from them. Andy grabbed hold of a claw and on seeing him; Ael reluctantly took hold of one too. The creature then simply folded its claws, back to the cage hold that had brought them there. It then simply pushed up in the air again and in seconds, they were soaring high up in the air, the ground rushing past them. The creature continued to soar and Andy saw that it was heading for a mountain like land formation up ahead. For a moment, he felt uneasy at the memory of having escaped from one such mountain with a cave where he had nearly been cooked to death. Then, shrugging the memory off, he simply closed his eyes, letting the wind brush off all his unpleasant memories and clear up his brain. 

The Tail Tales - Chapter 5 - The Hatchling

Andy became a statue, almost stopping his breath in sheer fright. He dared not move even a finger and sat in what he hoped was an absolutely still, frozen position. He almost heard the next movement before he felt it. A sort of a whoosh that drove the air before it and there it was again, that little touch, somehow hard, bony and pointy, like someone had brushed his back with a rather large stick. Whatever it was had not yet attacked him and it had had enough opportunity to do so. He decided to chance a movement and turned his head in what he hoped was as small a movement was possible. And then he strained to see something, anything in the dark. He could now sense a very large presence behind him, dangerous and powerful, and yet could see nothing at all in the darkness. He moved his head just a little bit again. This brought his stone into view. And what was earlier just warmth that came from it had now become something close to heat. It was glowing orange red, becoming almost red hot. If he did not know better, he would have thought that the stone had become angry and was giving out a warning.

Soon, the heat that came from the stone was strong enough to make him flinch and the stone was pure red, almost as if it was in the middle of a roaring flame. And yet the grass and twigs around it were untouched by the heat.  The grass on the mound where he had placed it was not smoking or burning, though the shoots reflected red in the light from the stone. Another startling thing that hit him was that the stone had somehow grown and become larger. It now was almost triple its size and still growing, at a speed that was visible. As it grew larger, the area around it became red with its light, casting aside the darkness like a boy throwing aside a blanket on a warm night. Soon, the light grew closer to where Ael had been lying down and Andy saw she was no longer there. Again, there was another of those whoosh sounds, though nothing brushed against him and somehow the sound itself seemed to come from slightly further away.

The stone, if it was still a stone, was nearly Andy’s size now and was still growing. Now, the reddish light from it was casting shadows at the far end near where the slope started and where the plants were. Andy turned his head slightly more and now his gaze fell on Ael. She seemed to be still in a trance, her eyes were open and staring wide unseeing. But, she was not lying on the ground or even standing. She seemed to be floating about 5 feet off the ground, completely horizontal and not supported by or holding onto anything. She was bathed in some kind of a blue cocoon, her metallic skin glowing blue in the light thrown off by the stone. Her arms were held straight away from her body and her legs were sticking straight out, not even a slight bending of the knee was visible. The blue cocoon seemed to have enveloped her completely, a foot thick around her and leading off above her. His eyes followed the imaginary path of the cocoon’s tail and he suddenly froze in fright again, his entire insides suddenly turning into a mushy liquid that seemed to be fighting to get out. For, high up in the air above Ael, there were a pair of eyes, narrowing like slits at the end and yellow, glowing evilly in a light of their own. They seemed to be staring down at him and the stone. He had not seen the eyes so far simply because they were too high up, he guessed almost fifty odd feet above the ground.

His terror was suddenly broken by a loud cracking noise. It came from the stone which was by now about three times the size of a normal human being. He could see that the inside of the stone was in some curious way stirring and moving around, as if some hand with a spoon was actually stirring this pot. The inside of the stone was moving in a continuous whirl that seemed to be gathering speed, like the eye of a hurricane framed by a severe whirling storm. Suddenly, Andy saw a long black tail like thing whipping around inside the stone followed closely by what seemed like a clawed foot. Only, this foot was bigger than Andy’s arm. The liquid sensation inside Andy seemed to have just become worse. Another cracking sound came from the stone as it seemed to grow impossibly large, like a balloon stretched to its breaking point. A curious buzzing sound seemed to come from the stone, almost as if the stirring inside was causing a noise.  The reddish light coming from the stone, now seemed to be dropping, growing quickly to become orange and then in the next minute or so, settle down to a bright yellow glow, almost like daylight lighting up the entire area. Now, Andy could see clearly a large form, jet black in color, flexing inside the stone, almost as if it were fighting to get out. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he corrected himself that it was an egg and not a stone. He had been carrying an egg that he had picked up off the ground in Kirkmichael and here, in the middle of god knows where; it had turned out to be an egg.

The yellow light now reached far across the clearing and threw shadows on the side of the mound. Andy had now thrown caution to the winds, there was simply too much happening around him and in any case, he did not seem to matter even a bit in all that was happening. He turned around and looked at the whole scene. One clear detail that he had missed so far; caught his eye and held it. He noticed at the far end of the clearing, beyond the plant line, in the middle of the field, a pair of thick trunk like shapes now stood, some distance apart from each other. They looked like trunks of a very old oak tree he had seen, knotted and twisted in a shape that had stood the test of time. When he had tried to put his hands around it, he realized that he could only span about a quarter of its circumference. These trunks actually looked larger. In Andy’s mind, they were somehow connected to the yellow slit shaped eyes up above. Certainly, they looked like a massive pair of legs. As he watched, one of the trunks moved and actually uprooted itself from the ground, rising to reveal a huge foot that would have dwarfed him had he been standing underneath it ending in a set of claws and talons that were as long as he was tall. The foot moved away from him and set itself on the ground again. As it did, there came the whoosh sound again and this time Andy could see what appeared to be a wing tip with a talon at the end of it, pass close by him. The sheer size of the creature made him cold with fright.

While Andy had been realizing all this about the yellow eyes, the egg had now cracked open and lay in two halves. The creature that emerged from inside the egg now stood some distance away from it. Though it seemed to be smaller in size, the creature seemed more dangerous and deadly in some way. A large webbed frill neck seemed to frame its face, the frill completely flaring out in an unmistakable warning. The frill was jet black in color with the webbing almost transparent and the tips and back of it was reddish in color and made the face of the creature appear impossibly large. The red coloring somehow added to the dangerous feel of it all. The face of the creature itself was like a giant lizard except it was nothing like he had seen before. It stood facing upwards as if challenging the much larger yellow eyed creature. 

It had a high pair of eyes, the pupils a vertical slit, framed by clear pools of white, the pupils glowing red in color and staring upwards at the yellow eyed creature.  The eyes seemed to be smoking slightly or maybe it was just Andy’s imagination going into overdrive. A snout seemed to grow from in between the eyes and stretch down to end in two slits, glowing red and slightly smoky again. Below the snout was the mouth or what should have been the mouth. Except that this one had a pair of jaws that resembled the crocodile at the local zoo. Resembled was not quite the right word since this one seemed like a giant version that would have nibbled the crocodile as a tasty bite. The jaws spread wide open and a double rows of fangs as big as his hand, bristled inside, each pointing at a slight angle inwards except at the front where they poked outwards. A forked tongue darted out again and again, twisting this way and that, like a snake with a mind of its own. Andy could see into the back of its throat and saw the same reddish glow there. It was almost as if the creature had a full fire going inside it.

Now that the egg had cracked open, it simply lay there giving off a weak yellow light that grew weaker. The creature seemed to be exuding the same bright yellow light that had come from the egg and lit up the whole area, bright as daylight. The creature stood there and its sheer size hit Andy. It had a short pair of forelegs, if you could call them short; that ended in a paw with claws and curved sharp talons. The forearms were raised as the creature stood up in the air and they seemed poised to attack. The claws were thin and pointy with even longer talons that looked like they could tear open anything. Behind the forelegs was a pair of large wings similar to bat wings, each point on the wings ending in a similar fang shaped talon. The wings themselves stretched out to almost 6-7 times Andy’s size and had the same transparent webbing as its frilled neck, with the same reddish tips and back. The creature had a crested spine, each crest ending in a sharp tip curved backwards, the tips now standing out in full attack mode. 

Its belly curved inwards, long and muscular and led towards the hind legs which were resting on the ground. The hind legs were as tall as Andy, the claws stretched and talons out, slightly crouching as if readying itself for a spring forward. It seemed to be supported by a tail that was itself as long as the creature was tall, resting on the ground, crested like its spine. The creature was very powerful and dangerous, a fact that was not lost on the much larger tree-trunk-legs-slit-yellow-eyes. Yellow eyes seemed to be clearly stepping back. As it stepped back, the cocoon that was holding Ael seemed to grow weaker and thinner. Ael had dropped closer to the ground and hovered about a foot off the ground. Yellow eyes had retreated into the field of flowers and stood there, waiting. Suddenly, a jet of reddish yellow flame shot out towards Yellow eyes. The jet headed straight towards the yellow eyes, reaching all the way up there. The flame came out of the black creature’s mouth. Rearing its head in head in alarm, yellow eyes turned away. As it did, Ael fell to the ground, the cocoon completely vanishing. Yellow eyes then took flight with a flap of those mighty wings, creating a wall of air that blew Andy away with its sheer power. Andy fell flat onto the ground and lay there winded. In a couple of whooshes; the yellow eyed creature had left the scene.

Andy lay there for a few moments recovering. As he stood up, he saw that the black creature now stood over Ael, its forelegs close to her shoulders, its snout close to her face. He thought that it was attacking her, now that Yellow eyes had left her behind. Anger got hold of his brain and he stopped thinking at all. He looked around for something, anything, with which he could attack the creature, forgetting that it was several times his size. His eyes fell on a branch lying on the ground and he picked it up. Much like the medieval knight wielding his lance, Andy charged at the black creature, screaming in his anger. He saw that it seemed to be sniffing her to see how tasty she was and its tongue flicked out to her cheek as if tasting her. As Andy approached the creature, its size registered in his brain. But by then it was too late and he continued his charge, a Don Quixote against the largest windmill he could even imagine of. Andy came within striking distance of the creature and brought the branch down on its back with all his might hoping that it would get stunned. The branch could have been made of paper or grass for all that it mattered and it shattered into tiny pieces on impact. The creature felt the blow and turned towards him. Andy prepared to be stomped upon or burnt to crisp in the next second. But the creature just seemed to give him a hurt look, its pupils now cooled down into a dark red, widening in their clear pain. It made no move to attack him or burn him down and just stayed there just looking at him.

Andy’s anger had vanished as quickly as it had come and he stood shivering in fright at what might happen to him. He was vaguely surprised by the creature’s not attacking him and stood rooted to the ground, not sure of what to do next, and not even running away from there. The creature continued to simply look at him, the frilled neck now having been folded away, its arrow shaped head clearly visible. The crest in its spine also had subsided and was no longer standing on end. Its tail swished gently a few feet away from him, but not moving towards him. As the both of them simply stood there staring at each other, there was a muffled sound from the ground beyond the creature, where Ael lay. Hearing this, Andy almost stepped forward as if to go to her help but stopped short as he realized that he had to cross the creature to get to her. The creature, seeing his hesitation, seemed to make up its mind and spread its wings to full span and simply leapt into the air. In the dark, he could only hear a couple of whap-whaps and then nothing. It had simply left him there with Ael. With it, all light around disappeared and the place was completely dark again. Andy ran towards where he had heard Ael’s voice and then, in the dark, dropped onto the ground and crawled forward. He bumped into her lying there and grabbed hold of her. She was shivering as if she was very cold, though the place was warm.

He could not think of anything that he could do and finally, just held her and sat there. In some time, her shivering stopped and she seemed to fall into a deep sleep. Andy continued sitting there holding her until the orange streaks peeked over the horizon, as if to check whether the night had gone and then slowly stole out, announcing the arrival of a new dawn. Andy could now see that Ael was still sleeping deeply, but breathing evenly. She seemed to be actually sleeping rather than being frozen like she had been before. The spot on her cheek which had been red and swollen had now grown back to normal. As Andy ran through the events of the past hours, a sudden doubt rose in his mind. Had that black creature in some way cured Ael? What if it had been sniffing or licking her face to cure her rather than attacking her like he had imagined? Was that why it had seemed hurt after his “attack”? Andy suddenly felt sure that the creature had been trying to protect them all the while, even when it was in its egg. And he had stupidly driven it off. He now desperately wished that the creature was back with them, protecting and shielding them in this weird world that seemed to be out to get them. 

The Mirage

It was like any normal day. He was on his way to work, driving across the city, one of the rats waiting their turn to move forward. The newspaper served as company during the long dreary traffic lights and the never ending inches gained each minute, the newsprint telling him the latest news or what passed for news nowadays, in its muted baritone. He almost drove the car on auto pilot, his eyes busy scanning the newspaper. He caught sight of the car ahead moving forward in his peripheral vision and eased his foot off the clutch gently, folding up his paper with one hand. A sudden movement ahead made him jam his leg down hard on the brake. The car jerked to a shuddering standstill and there was a heart stopping thud from behind. He looked again to see the lady who had crossed in front of his car, still walking across, apparently oblivious to what had happened. She was short by any standard but the purpose in her stride more than made up for stature. As she approached the pavement, she turned as if feeling his glance on her, her heart shaped face framed by a halo of hair, her high cheekbones framing the gently upturned lips that gave him a smile and made his heart skip two whole beats.

An insistent pounding on his car window dragged him back like a reluctant cat to his current problem as the irate driver of the car that had bumped into his made it appear that the car had been totaled. The argument see-sawed back and forth and by the time he convinced the other driver that he would be covered by insurance and exchanged cards, he realized that he was going to be late for his meeting. He inched the rest of the way to the office, driving more with the horn and earning nasty stares from passersby. But he did not care, his force field made stronger by his distaste for being late. When he finally made it to his parking slot, he was about half an hour late – an event that was so unusual that it caused a murmur when he entered the floor. He went straight into the meeting, muttering an excuse about an accident.

As he sat in the meeting listening to the client describe their requirements, his mind unraveled and traced its path back to the instant when the cause for his accident had smiled at him. The completely open smile that traveled all the way up to her eyes kept getting replayed in his mind. A sharp tug on his sleeve and a quick whisper of “they are asking us for our approach” blew away his dreams and he stood up and launched into his presentation. The rest of the morning passed predictably without incident, safely tucked away in the meeting room. The client was suitably impressed with his pitch and was ready to sign on the dotted line and only the formalities needed to be completed when he finally rose and shook hands. As he made his way back to his room, concerned colleagues asked him about the accident. Their curiosity was more out of the fact that he was probably the most careful driver around than from their concern for his safety and he soon grew tired of explaining. For some strange reason that he did not care to explain to himself, he left out the lady completely from all his explanations.

The day drew on with a conference call and a review. He grabbed himself a coffee and was making his way back to his room when he suddenly turned to look at the reception for no rhyme or reason. The reception was at the far end of the hall but was clearly visible through the glass paneling. A matron of a lady who was almost as old as the company itself, she was a fixture of the office. And he came to a sudden stop when he saw the “lady” of the accident talking to the receptionist. Without even realizing it, he had changed direction, his mind having directed his feet towards the reception automatically, his eyes fixed on the woman bending down in conversation across the counter. Suddenly, he felt something slamming into his shin and went sprawling on the floor. The cup of coffee had drained itself down his shirt front as he now lay in a pool of loose papers and files that had emptied out of the open filing cabinet he had banged into. When he finally stood up after disentangling himself from the files and papers, the reception was empty save the matron. He ignored the ugly brown stain on his shirt and the stinging gash on his shin as he went up to the receptionist and asked her about the woman who had just been there. Meeting a blank stare, he almost started describing her when he caught the receptionist’s interested looks and stopped himself. It was the second time that day that the lady from the scene had caused him to come completely undone. And he wasn't enjoying the feeling. Neither was he enjoying his obvious interest in her. It wasn't like him at all to be behaving like some lovesick puppy.

The way home was uneventful enough, the routine trudge back home. He was scheduled to meet a couple of friends at a pub a short distance away from his apartment and he walked down there. His mind soon switched off the day as he got into the familiar routine of trading stories with his friends over beer. Waves of their laughter washed the day’s events out of his mind like their erasing patterns in the sand on a beach. The place was a favorite of theirs and they were Friday night regulars. After what seemed like a couple of hours of horsing around, he excused himself to go to the washroom. Checking his phone as he walked back to the table, he saw a missed call from a client. He found a quiet place away from the music and called up the client. As he stood there talking, he glanced back at the table and his brain stopped short in mid stride as he saw “her” talking to his friend. He stood there staring blankly for a couple of minutes and then the cogs in his brain started whirring again as he heard a “Hello, hello, hello”. The irritated client had realized he had been speaking to thin air and was trying to reestablish contact. He placated the man and told him that he would sort out the problem soon. He finished the call in a hurry, his eagerness to do so almost bordering on desperation, and he looked up only to find his friend alone. “She” was nowhere in sight. In a mindless panic he ran outside and scanned the street desperately but could not find her.

He went back to the table and sat down, feeling slightly restless. Trying to appear casual, he asked his friend who the lady he had been talking to had been. Faced with a “Which of the ladies are you asking about?” and a guffaw, he simply said “The short one in black trousers”. His friends then started poking fun at him and for the rest of the evening; he became the source of their entertainment for his seemingly apparent attraction to short women in black trousers. So much so that, they would call out to him whenever some woman passed by in trousers, asking him what color he thought it was. When his irritation became visible, they stopped. It was nearly time to wind up anyway and they made their way out after paying. As he waved his good bye and turned to walk back to his apartment, his friend called out “There was no one with black trousers that I spoke to this evening. It must have been the waitress.” He simply shook his head at that and chose not to reply. The walk back was short, the breeze cooling his thinking down and trying to create rational explanations for what had happened. By the time he reached home, he had almost completely succeeded in explaining the whole episode away. His sleep that night was troubled, with visions of smiling eyes framed by high cheek bones and a heart shaped face floating in and out of range.

The next morning, he resolved to put what he now called his stupidity firmly behind him. Reaching office early, he threw himself into a frenzy of work to make sure that he had no time to sit and think, almost afraid that he would start thinking of “her” again. He made sure he was tied up in some meeting or the other and was in company through the day, but was obviously on the edge, losing his temper at small things, growling like the proverbial bear with a thorn in its paw. Most of his team was quite upset to hear his edgy comments, something that they had never experienced before and ensured that they ran clear of him after the first encounter. By about 4 PM, he had completely run out of things to do and was now searching desperately. Some members of his team politely suggested that he take the rest of the day off and faced with the lack of an alternative; he chose to leave office and walk to the nearby cafe and ordered a coffee. While he sat there sipping his coffee and staring out of the window, trying to concentrate on the drink, his mind traveled unbidden to his first sight of the woman and her smile. The path it had to take was by now familiar and it found its way with ease. As he absently sipped the coffee, he tried to imagine who she would be and what she would be doing.

Her dress sense was excellent and the fact that it was a definite work dress would make her a young executive. She wore her hair long, as opposed to most women who cut it short, choosing a soft feminine look over an efficient short style. Her strides seemed to eat the ground up, showing a definite sense of purpose and aggression. He was musing at her name and background when the sour taste of coffee dregs told him that the coffee was long over. He asked for the cheque and happened to look out of the window as he waited for it. And there she was, on the other side of the road, in a white summery dress this time, her hair and the dress softly billowing in the strong evening breeze. The traffic, the crowd, the distance, all melted into nothingness as his entire being suddenly sharply focused on her. She was walking away towards the next intersection, her strides eating up the ground. He had no memory of having got out of the chair and run out of the café but he suddenly found himself at the intersection waiting for the light to turn green. The boy from the café was at his elbow asking him to pay for his coffee and in his hurry, he thrust the first note that he could take out of his wallet into the boy’s hands.

The light seemed to be taking an eternity to turn green, each second stretching endlessly. He could see that she was already turning into a building. He decided not to wait and made a dash across the road. Cars honked their displeasure and a few jammed their brakes just mere whiskers away from him. But he was past caring. He made it in one piece across and continued to run, making straight for the building which she had entered. He went in and found that it was an office complex of 15 floors. He had no way of knowing which office she had gone into. Riding on an unreasonable flash of inspiration, he decided to take the lift up and simply stop at each floor and look out. He made it into the first lift and to the extreme annoyance of a couple of co-passengers; he pressed the buttons for all 15 floors. The lift was a glass cage and he kept looking upwards through the sides while waiting for the next floor. It seemed to take an hour between each of the floors and at each stop; he stepped out for a moment and looked around on the floor. There was no sign of her. As he crossed the 8^th floor, a movement caught his eye. Another elevator was coming down and sure enough, there she was in it, riding the glass cage down like some mythical enchantress of yore.

He got off on the 9^th floor and ran down, trying to outrun the elevator. As luck would have it, the elevator did not stop at any floors and was heading straight down. He could not keep pace with it and as he reached the 6^th floor, he saw that it had reached the ground level and the woman was heading out of the front door of the complex. She stopped for a moment and asked something of the security guard and then walked out. He continued running down and reached the ground floor, his chest on fire and breathing like a steam locomotive as his lungs screamed their protest at this rough treatment being meted out to them. He ran up to the security guard and tried speaking while the breath wheezed in and out of his throat. When he finally managed to make sense of the question about the woman, the guard simply replied back “What woman in a white dress? No one stopped here or asked me anything.” He thought that the guard was trying to protect information and tried to cajole him but to no avail. After a few minutes of trying he gave up, feeling uneasily that the guard actually was telling him the truth. A question suddenly appeared in the dark recesses of his mind – had he actually seen her or was it just his memory causing hallucinations? He brushed the thought away as instantly as it came, his rational behavior taking over and dismissing the possibility.

He simply decided to go home after that. At home, not wanting to be by himself, he decided to go over to a friend’s place. He spent the evening playing with his friend’s son and making small chat with his friend. He was relieved as he got home, relieved that he had not hallucinated or seen any more visions of “her”. Exhaustion soon took over and he sank into a deep sleep. He woke with a start realizing at once that he had overslept. He hurried through the motions and finally got into his car. Turning the key in the ignition, his heart sank as the engine made a dull thudding sound as it turned over but did not fire up. Several attempts later, he realized that it was not going to start though he could not find anything obviously wrong. A phone call to the service station got him no reply. They were probably not yet open. He walked out into the street and hailed an auto rickshaw. He got in and joined the queue of vehicles, trying to jostle their way down the street, fighting for space at six impossible lanes on what was otherwise a two lane road. About fifteen minutes and a kilometer later, he passed the subway entrance to the metro railway station near his house and realized that it might be much faster than going by road.

It was definitely a good decision though he felt like a complete sardine jammed between a heavy set man in a suit and two teenage boys discussing girls at their school. He wished he were someplace else but had to make do as this seemed to be the only way to reach faster. He reached office on time though he had started a half hour later than normal. But the day seemed destined to go wrong. He lost his presentation for a client, his sales manager called in sick, the laptop ran out of battery in the middle of the client meeting, lunch was cold sandwiches that dripped mayonnaise making a nice white patch on his pants and the package he had been expecting was delayed. By afternoon, he was one bundle of nerves, expecting the sky to fall on his head. As he sat there with his head in his hands wondering why all this was happening to him, a heart shaped face with a heartwarming smile floated in his mind. With a visible effort, he shook the thought out of his head and stood up, wanting to simply get out of there. The cafe seemed to be a good idea and he headed out to it. He got there and found himself surprising hungry and ordered himself a sandwich. He chose to sit in the same seat as yesterday and stared outside the same window. He told himself that he was just looking outside but there was a small voice inside that mocked at him and insisted that he was searching for her, hoping that she would turn up today as well.

Half way through the sandwich, he turned around to look for the waiter and was shocked to see the very lady sitting at the table behind him. As the initial shock of discovery wore off, another thought slowly made its way through to the surface of his thought pool, that maybe he should go up to her and strike a conversation. Just to try and get to know more about her. He ran through various conversation pieces in his mind, rehearsing his lines and trying to anticipate what she might say. He felt very much like a gawky teenager himself at that moment. Finally, his mind made up, he stood up and walked back to her table and asked her if he might join her. She was wearing a pastel shirt and khaki trousers, looking quite like the first time he had seen her. The heart shaped face looked up and smiled, exactly as she had done when she walked across the traffic that day. Taking that to be an invitation, he sat down and introduced himself. Still getting just that disarming smile and no other response as she sipped a tall drink that looked refreshingly chilled, he asked her what she was drinking. Again, that smile which seemed to not reveal anything but also said a whole lot. He decided to not let her silence faze him. After all, she was still smiling, wasn't she?

He called the boy over, the same one that had chased him down the road yesterday for the payment. And he told him to get the same drink that the lady was drinking. The boy looked at him weirdly for a moment and then across at her and then back at him. Then the boy looked uncertain and almost walked away, taking a couple of steps and then inspiration seemed to strike him as he walked across to the next table where there was a couple sitting and looked at what the woman was having. The boy then came back and said that the woman was having a cappuccino. By now, impatience had got the better of him and he almost screamed at the boy, “Not that woman you idiot, I want the same drink that the woman sitting opposite me is having”. The boy now retreated to his manager, clearly confused. The woman was still just sitting there, the smile still playing on her face, almost quizzical and he thought mocking his losing his cool. He could now hear the boy conversing with the manager. The boy was telling the manager “Boss, this is the same guy who gave me Rs 500 for a coffee yesterday. Today he is asking for the same drink as some imaginary woman. He seems to be cuckoo. Should I just give him a coffee and pretend to go along?”

Hearing this was like a dunk in a bucket of cold water and he simply got up, kept a Rs 500 note on the table and left the cafe. He walked out as if in a daze, realizing that the whole episode had been his imagination and he had made a complete fool of himself over some woman who did not even exist. He walked aimlessly for a while not realizing where his feet were taking him and then simply decided to go home, not feeling like working any more. He called up office and told them to lock his cabin and walked into the metro station. As it was not yet rush hour, he was able to get a seat on the train and sat there, still in a complete muddle about what was happening to him. He almost felt betrayed by his own mind for having played such a huge trick on him. The train stopped at each station and passengers got on and off while he was blissfully unaware of them, lost as he was in his own misery, staring at some spot between his shoes, almost boring a hole into the floor of the train with his thought waves. Suddenly his eye fell on a pair of legs in khaki trousers ending in tan heels.

Shock turned into disbelief as he looked upwards to see the same disarming smile, the eyes looking straight at him. For a moment, he responded despite himself, a smile making its way across his face. But just after, the fact that it was just his mind playing tricks sank into the puddle of his conscious and he willed her away. Try as he might, he could not shake her away, she was irrefutably there. He would normally have stood up and given his seat to a woman. But, knowing this was just a hallucination, he did not stir from his seat. He turned his face away and looked around, resolutely ignoring her. An old gentleman in the opposite row stood up and she then sat down in his place. His mind explained this as just a coincidence as the old man proceeded to get off at the next station a couple of minutes later and there was just a couple of people standing in the aisle now. He took out his phone and went through his emails, finding solace in the comfort of his work and trying to shake her from his mind. At the next station, a few boys got onto the train as soon as the doors opened and stood at the doorway. He heard a soft husky voice that was almost ethereal say, “Will you boys excuse me?” He turned his head to see the woman of his vision make her way out of the train and the doors close behind her.

She stood there and looked back at him, the smile still there but tinged with sadness that had crept in, almost as if she was upset at his having ignored her. But that was not possible, his mind screamed. She was just a figment of his imagination, was she not? But then suddenly, a cold thought arose in his head. This was the first time he had actually heard her speak. And the boys had moved to make way for her. A wave of panic rose in his throat as he jumped up and tried to jump through the doors, only succeeding in banging against them to the complete amusement of the boys. He stood at the door watching her recede and shrink in size and then quickly disappear as the train swiftly picked up speed. He stood there by the door and waited for the next station, almost jumping off in a run as the doors opened. He ran out and crossed the road, hailing an auto rickshaw. Telling him to go to the next station, he was met with a quick refusal. Refusing to take no for an answer, he thrust a 100 Re note in the man’s hand and asked him for help as there was an emergency. That was impactful enough and the auto surged forward with a new vigor. It was just a few minutes later, but it seemed like a lifetime later, when they stopped with a screech at the previous station.

He ran outside onto the street and stood there, wildly staring, searching desperately for a sight of her. Finding no trace of her, he suddenly became aware of a never ending line of vehicles that started almost immediately outside the metro station. Acting on a wild hunch, he started walking down the line of vehicles, peeking into taxis and auto rickshaws that stood there, patiently waiting their turn to move. A couple of choice curses from some indignant women and a fist shaken in his face later by an irate boyfriend later, he stood up frustrated. He suddenly felt drained like a sponge that had been squeezed out of every drop of energy. He felt he could not move even a step further and just stood there. Waking out of his reverie as the traffic started moving slowly forward, he slowly walked along the traffic, just desultorily looking around. The vehicles stopped soon enough but he just continued walking, searching for any sign of her.

After about half a kilometer of walking, his legs buckled wearily and he almost fell onto the road. Grabbing vehicles for support, he made his way across to the pavement. He sank down on the edge of the pavement, his head almost sinking on his knees, staring blindly across the road. An auto rickshaw stopped almost in front of him, the driver’s legs blocking his vision.  His eyes automatically moved across to the passenger section and disappointedly moved away. A moment later, his brain registered a heart shaped face looking at him concernedly and his eyes skittered back to the woman he had grown so used to seeing. He almost smiled his relief and the answering smile was like a drug that swam its way across his veins, creating an incredible sense of well being as his world righted itself. She simply moved over in the auto as if she were making space for him to get in. 

The Tail Tales - Chapter 4 - The Obsidian Talisman

Andy saw Ael suddenly collapse onto the ground like a limp piece of cloth. He started running forward to her and found himself unable to move his left leg forward to keep up with his right. Looking down, he found that a small tendril of a plant had wrapped itself around his ankle and was drawing itself tight around it. The tendril was a transparent green color almost as if it were a green shadow of something that had no form. Only the tip of it was clearly visible, pulsing darker green and raising its head inquisitively and tentatively now moving up his foot. On any other day, his curiosity would have got the better of him and he would have watched it climb up to see what happened next. But then, he had Ael to attend to. He reached down and tried to pull the tendril from his ankle. It had caught on tight and as he pulled, it seemed to draw even tighter.

He decided to change direction and then tugged at the tendril from where it came out of a clump of branches all bearing orange yellow flowers. As he grew closer, the flowers seemed to smell him and somehow grew larger and more dangerous looking. He did not let himself get distracted by the flowers and focused on the task of pulling the tendril out. He did not see the pollen stalks of the flowers suddenly coming out, much like a cat’s claws come out when it is on the prowl. The stalks now protruded out from the flower, changing in color to a dirty red. Suddenly Andy felt a sting on his cheek and then another on his arm. He thought he had been stung by a mosquito and brushed his cheek. When he bent down to look at his arm, he saw a small red thorn jutting out of his skin. As he looked, a couple more of the stalks shot out from the flower and stuck to his skin. He looked up to see nearly a dozen flowers around sticking their stalks at him like quivers with arrows ready to fly.

He moved fast and put his entire weight behind pulling at the tendril. Suddenly he felt something give way and it came away from the plant in a tearing rush. He fell back onto the grass, as luck would have it. As he fell, he saw a bunch of the stalks shoot out of the flowers to the spot where he had been standing just a second ago. He quickly unwound the tendril from his ankle, noticing that the end which had been torn from the plant was weeping a clear liquid which looked suspiciously like blood. He brushed away what seemed to be a stupid thought, gathered himself and ran towards Ael.

Reaching her, he found that she was lying with her eyes open, looking at the sky. He called out her name to no response. He put his palm below her nostril and felt her breathe, uneven and slow, but she was breathing. It seemed like she knew he was there and that she could hear him call her name but somehow she could not respond. He tried to lift her. But her body was limp and would not rise off the ground, almost as if she were asleep.

Andy looked around helplessly, searching for something, anything that would help him get Ael up. He saw suddenly that most of the plants surrounding them seemed to have taken an unusual interest in them and appeared to be leaning towards them, their flowers widening as if in anticipation, the pollen stalks quivering as if in eagerness. Somehow, Andy felt that they were dangerous and were threatening him. He took a step back in alarm and then quickly made up his mind. He stooped down and grabbed hold of Ael under her armpits and started dragging her backwards. He stumbled and tripped on plants lying under his feet and fell back, Ael landing on top of him, knocking out his breath. He sat her up and started dragging her once again when he felt something warm, almost hot, in his pocket.

He put his hand in and encountered the shiny smooth surface of the stone that he had been carrying around. Only, where it had so far been cool to touch, it was now heating up. He took it out of his pocket and it seemed to be glowing with a fire deep inside it. The flames were orange yellow with a deep red centre. The surface seemed to be slowly becoming red in color with the rising heat. As he held the stone, it grew so hot in that instant that he had to drop it. It landed amidst the plants and lay there, glowing with its inner light. For a few seconds, the light seemed to grow brighter and then it became a steady glow. Now, the stone seemed to have a strange effect on the plants and especially the flowers around them. The plants moved away, almost as if they were shrinking in fear and the flowers withdrew quickly, nearly closing up against the bright light.

In an instant, everything seemed to go back to normal. The plants were normal plants again and the flowers seemed like colorful wonders of creation. Andy’s stood open mouthed in surprise at what had happened and then looked down at the stone. The glow seemed to be subsiding inside it and for an instant, just a split second; he saw a swishing black movement in the stone. And then it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. The stone was back to its black cool rounded look and he felt he must have imagined all that had happened till then. He bent down to pick up the stone and the only thing that told him the truth was the warmth that was still coming from it. He put his eye close to it and tried to peer into its depths. But there was nothing, just the reflection of his eye staring back at him.

He returned the stone to his pocket and bent down to pick up Ael and to drag her back out of the field. It was slow work, especially since she was no help at all. Luckily, the plants stayed away from them after that episode and so though it was tough going, there were no further attacks. Finally, after what seemed to be hours of dragging her, they reached the edge of the field, at the bottom of the slope down which they had fallen. He made a small space there for Ael and laid her down, her eyes still wide open and staring unseeingly at the sky. He sat beside her and waited for something to happen, for her to wake up. The orange yellow sun travelled across the horizon and was poised to dive into the depths of the horizon leaving the inky black trail of night behind it.

Andy felt hungry. He must have been sitting there for hours and decided to search for some food. He did not want to leave Ael there but had no choice since she had not shown any signs of life at all except for the warmth of her breath whenever he had checked. Finally, for some strange reason, he decided to leave the black stone to stand guard over her. He placed the stone by the side of her head on a mound of grass and then went in search of food. He walked back up the slope to the pool and the plants around it. He was still very watchful of any plants, especially after the last attack. Fortunately, these seemed to be very different plants, with no bright flowers. He searched through them, found some with colorful berries but decided not to pick them, thinking that anything with a lot of color was dangerous. Suddenly, he saw a large dark blue fruit that appeared to be half eaten, like some careless boy had just bitten off a part of it and thrown it away. Andy knelt down to look at it and saw a couple of what appeared to be claw marks on it and a large bite mark. The bite was unlike any he had ever seen, with no teeth marks and a pointy look to it, almost like someone had carefully bitten a conical piece out.

He walked a little distance ahead and saw a largish shrub that had the same blue fruit hanging on it. Andy thought that since something else had eaten this fruit, it would not be dangerous. So, he plucked a few and stuffed them into his pocket. As he turned to go, he heard a sudden shrill cry from somewhere up above. He looked up but could not see anything in the spreading darkness. But he could sense something there, something very large. He turned back and started to run towards the pool. Suddenly, the cry came again, only this time much lower, almost as if it was on top of him. He looked up in fright but could not see anything. The next moment, he went flying as his foot caught in a root protruding from the ground.  As he fell, he heard a “Whoosh” like something had swooped down close above him. His face ached where it had hit something hard on the ground. He saw that it was some kind of a hollow shell and picked it up. He started running back once again and reached the pool in no time. He stopped for just a minute to clean up the shell / bowl and scoop up some water in it.

He then ran down the slope to where Ael lay. He stopped short when he saw her eyes were closed. He put down the bowl and checked her breathing. It was still there, still warm and more regular, like she was sleeping. The black stone was quiet and unmoving next to her, somehow peaceful. He sat down beside her and took out a couple of berries. He found that they tasted like peculiarly like raw berries from back home. In that instant, he wanted to desperately go back. Go back to his mother, her warm comforting hug, her smell of cookies and smoke, her loving voice constantly reminding him of things he had to do and her smile that lit her face up like the sun. Go back to his dad who came home too tired to even say anything but always stooping to kiss Andy on the forehead. Back to his corner of the house where he kept all this things, odds and ends that he had picked up over time.

Breathing a sigh, he brought himself back from his dream, to the reality that he was living through. He wondered what his dad and mom were thinking about him now that he had been gone for so long. They must have gone crazy in their worry for him. But he had no way to get even a message back to them. He wished that somehow they were not scared or worried for him.

He drank a little bit of the water from the shell and then lay down a little away from Ael. By now, the sun had disappeared completely and the dark sky was like a blanket that hid them from everything around. He put his hand out and touched the stone where it lay on the mound of grass. It was cool to touch and strangely reassuring. He breathed deeply and looked up at the sky, searching for stars or any other familiar objects. But the blackness was complete, with not even the slightest light. In fact it was so dark that he could not see his hand when he put it in front of his face. Soon, the tiredness of the day’s adventure caught up with him and his eyes felt heavy. As he dropped off to sleep, his last thought was that the night seemed strangely quiet, with none of the noises that he was used to hearing back home.

He woke up with a start, not sure why he had woken up. It was still very dark. The first thing he noticed was that where before it had seemed quiet, all around them, strange noises had started. The noises seemed hurried and scared. Suddenly, he heard the whoosh of wings, like he had heard before and a gust of air nearly knocked him off his feet. He stepped back in alarm and waited. A few minutes passed and nothing happened. Whatever it was had gone back up into the air again. The noises died down around him and soon it was all quiet again. He sat down and listened, waiting for any noise or any activity. But nothing more happened. He felt around for the stone and it was there, exactly where he had left it. It was not visible in the dark but seemed to be giving off some strange warmth from within. The warmth comforted and soothed his nerves and he slowly relaxed. He couldn’t go back to sleep after all the excitement and just sat there looking out at the darkness, holding onto the stone.

Suddenly, something warm touched his back and he jumped in fright.

The Way It Is ....

I saw the beggar at the intersection, squinted eyes pleading,

grimy and lined with dirt, his palms open in earnest request,

clothes disheveled, over sized on his thin and scrawny frame,

walking past the cars, peeking in at the windows and begging.

Until he came to mine and in his eyes, the spark of recognition,

of his having been at the same window the previous morning,

but then need overcame his shame and his face visibly steeled,

as he resolutely put forth his hand and repeated the very words.

And in spite of myself, my cynicism took over and I withdrew,

with a curt shake of my head, looking out at nothing in particular,

but didn't miss the hurt look in his eyes at the familiar turn down,

his shoulders slumped even lower in defeat at the cruelty of it all.

And I turned to see him walk away and move on to the next car,

stopping just that instant to steel his heart again for the rejection,

before he stooped and knocked at the window, palms outstretched,

half expecting the turn off even before he completed his request.

And my heart turned cold at what I had done, my instance of hell,

and I stuck my head out and called him back to redeem my sin,

for I realized that in my cynicism, I had overlooked his deep need,

to reduce himself to the possibility of rejection again and again.

As realization dawned that so many of us get deeply hurt at rejection,

but would any of us have a need so rooted to put ourselves out,

again and again to the possibility of that turn off, the cold shoulder,

and if that need could be anything other than just for life itself.

Erasure

The wind shield wipers sweep back and forth like twin fanatical cleansers,

Wiping clean every drop of the rain that manages to splatter on the glass,

Leaving him wondering if this is the season ripe for picking of the dreamers,

Who see patterns and whorls of reason in every water blot that does pass.

Each drop falling onto the dried up, thirsty sands in the desert of his mind,

Almost instantly sizzling up and evaporating and yet leaving a trace, a print,

A memory of the wetness, the smell of rain, a breeze cool and for once kind,

And yet the thirst is impossible to quench, its momentary relief just a hint.

A hint that brings back memories of a different time and a different space,

Dreams that once flew unhindered and now buried under a blanket of reality,

Slowly stretch in awakening and brush the cobwebs away as they surface,

Only to see that the sky they once flew in is now shielded by a veil of practicality.

Voices of companions long lost call like wraiths dancing on the edge of reason,

Four way streets that they separated at, shining like signposts marking milestones,

The desolation that welled up inside still threatens, a tar coating the sand uneven,

Zebra stripes of optimism and cynicism alternating amid the bleached white bones.

A silent mist rolls in swiftly carried by the wind, obscuring and clouding vision,

Carrying a cold that bites and gnaws, keeping the last trace of moisture intact,

Chasing out all dreams and wraiths, burying all the memories in ruthless eviction,

The white sands are cold again, undisturbed and untouched, almost pristine in fact.

As he realizes that the rain has stopped and so the splotches of wetness on the glass,

The wipers almost smiling in their victory dance as the rain drops gave up the fight,

Little do they know why the rain drops smile in retreat, as the clouds above pass,

For through the sand the rain did reach a seed buried deep, a shoot emerging to light.

Through the clouds a ray of sunshine bursts, a warm nurturing and giving spotlight,

That bathes the little blade of green, the young warrior of hope and dreams eternal,

As it unfurls and smells the cold air, the endless realm of white sand not an easy sight,

And yet it waves its optimism in the wintry air, a flag of the resurgent spirit internal

Suspended Animation

She stood there at the edge of the terrace, the wind circling around her and whipping her hair and clothes into a fine frenzy like a Sufi saint whirling his way into ecstasy at having seen his beloved god. Only she had not seen god but stared the devil in his face or so it seemed. Her small pixie face stared at the dark and forbidding clouds that seemed to be rushing forward to meet her, a juggernaut that her frail frame could not withstand. Only there was a storm in her mind that was fighting for space already and there was no way another could share. Crowning this window into her soul was her frizzy hair that had a life of its own, tangling and untangling in the wind. Rebellious eye brows framed eyes that were normally black holes that you could see her through. Only, now they were reddish puffed portals into the endlessly deep pools of grief that spilled over every few moments, leaving her racked.

She was wrapped in a cocoon of silence, a vacuum that was built by the wind. But every few moments, a whimper escaped her, only to be carried away by the wind like a jealous lover protecting her from prying glances. A shudder shook her slender frame as if the earth itself was in a sympathetic tremor. All her senses numbed as she fought even to continue breathing. Each breath a rasping fruit of labor dragged through her tortured throat into lungs that were already full with her tears. She continued to stare as the clouds formed and unformed in the sky, not knowing what else to stare at, afraid of looking at anything else. Her fingers plucked ineffectively at her skirt and fluttered in sheer helplessness at not being able to aid in the larger scheme of things.

The legs that had borne her solid till now, gave way and she sank down onto the hard concrete floor. One leg dangled from the parapet as if she were poised to step down from the edge into nothingness. She looked down at her leg and far below that, the seemingly random movements of the dots that were people, down on the pavement. It would be so easy to end it all, she thought. Just to lean out and let go. A brief rush as the wind would have tried to push her back onto the terrace and then releasing her to fall free as it gave up, gently at first and then rushing down to meet the cold hard pavement below. It would be a blessed release she thought, an escape from the harsh reality that threatened her very sanity, like wolves of panic circling at the very edge of her reason and waiting for her defenses to crumble, cheating those demons that bayed for her blood. And she would hit the pavement and lie there like the crumpled piece of paper several times written over and struck out until she was but a maze of strike marks, leaking red ink and inconveniencing the passersby.

It started to rain then, a gradual few drops that fell tentatively as if testing the waters. Then, the rain, encouraged by the lack of any opposition, started pelting down. Normally she would have raised her face to the rain, the rain child that she was, enjoying its cleansing drops. But today, it reflected her mood perfectly, drops lashing out until one would have flinched, a solid sheet of falling water that obscured all else around. She stood and let the rain pour down on her, wishing it would wash away some of her grief. But it would not happen and the rain water just mingled with her tears and washed down her cheeks. She watched the water as it ran down and disappeared down the edge of the terrace, inviting her to follow. She stood up suddenly then, as if she had made up her mind about something. She then took a half step out towards the darkening edge.

Suddenly she was pulled back into here and now by a polite cough and a questioning voice behind her “Madam?” It took her more than a minute to compose herself, thankful to the rain for its mask and the veil that it gave her. Slowly she responded in a voice that seemed to come from somewhere very deep inside that she was coming back inside the apartment. She found the sheer effort of putting one foot before another almost mind-numbing, like every step drained her completely. She prayed that her legs would not give way under her and walked slowly and measuredly back into the building. Reaching the landing, she looked around blankly not knowing why she was there and what she had to do next. It was almost as if she was in a completely strange land and a strange place, not her own apartment. The security guard was right behind her and pressed the button to call the lift. It seemed like eons while she stood there, dripping water on the floor as if she were in fact melting away, until the elevator finally came.

Her mind switched to automatic and she stepped into the elevator and the security guard, familiar with her apartment number, pressed the button for her floor. She leaked her way down to her floor and stepped out of the elevator, squelching her arrival into the corridor. She saw that she had left the apartment door open and there was a rectangle of light framing her doorway in the corridor. She left a trail of water on her path down the corridor as she weaved like a drunk trying to walk in a straight line towards the rectangle of light. As she neared the doorway, she heard sounds of the neighbor opening her door. She had no strength or energy left for the polite conversation and the concerned questions that would have surely followed. She picked up pace out of some secret reserves of strength she had found and quickly walked into the apartment and closed the door. With that, all the noise and interference seemed to have receded and she was back in the vaccum again, surrounded by the noise proof walls of her despair that seemed to echo her silent wails of agony back at her.

Her memory now played back the words on the phone. The voice on the other end had been hesitant and apologetic, enquiring her name, and then her husband’s details and whether he had been on a trip to Paris and had arrived there two days ago with a visa and had been carrying a Iphone with a number so and so ? While she patiently confirmed, he said that he was from the Indian embassy in Paris and that the police had just reported a possible accident. A grey overcoat had been found floating on the river and had the passport and phone that belonged to her husband. The voice asked her if her husband owned a grey overcoat with black leather patches on the elbows and she confirmed in a daze. Some import of what the man had been saying had started to sink in and her brain had started to freeze over. The rest of the conversation was a drone in the background as her mind replayed the first part of the conversation again and again, like a turntable that had a jump and restarted at a particular point on the record.   

The mirror that was her self-composure then cracked into a million pieces, each shard digging, gouging, ripping her insides as it fought its way to the top of her consciousness. She hardly remembered sinking to the floor, holding herself tight and rocking back and forth as if to shake off the pain that threatened to swamp her consciousness. And sink she did, into a thick fog that enveloped her, memories of the days with him coming back in swathes. His smiling eyes, ever so gentle and welcoming and the way they lit up whenever they saw her and the way they opened wide and then broke into a smile at something she said, the smile starting from the corners and then spreading all over. His voice and the way he called her name, a lilt that sounded musical to her alone, a special symphony for her benefit, the concern when he even heard or saw her tense, the strength when she was hesitant, the laugh when she made those “awful” jokes as he called them. She remembered the way he smilingly kissed her awake in the morning, holding her close in his warmth. The way she loved to sleep on his chest, listening to his breathing deep, letting it’s rhythm lull her into that safe strong place that she felt absolutely secure. The way they curled up together to watch the television snacking from the bowl and fighting for the last piece and how he would always give in to her and let her have it. The way he said goodbye as he dropped her off each day, his touch lingering just that second more than it should, almost reluctant to go. And the way he said hello when he picked her up from work, almost as if he had been looking forward to seeing her again all day long and done nothing else but that. The lazy Sunday morning banters and dreams that they used to spin together. Waking up in the middle of the night next to him, touching him just to reassure her and then slowly dreamily sinking back to sleep. The endless looks and touches and moments they shared and the fact that they would never be there again came crashing back ….

It was then that she had realized that the phone had been ringing incessantly, a buzz like an annoying bee that finally penetrated got through her walls. She rose and walked up to the phone, eyeing it like it was an intruder that needed to be tackled with extreme care. The display on top showed a Parisian number and her resolve crumbled. She did not want to face any more news from any more strangers. She felt like calling her mother and crying her heart out, drawing the comfort she had relied on over the years. But knowing her mother’s frail health, she decided against it. She went from room to room in the house like a wraith haunting it but each room haunted her instead, each bringing its own set of memories to pull at her like a thousand thorns until she felt like screaming out aloud in the silence that seemed to shroud everything, ominous in its emptiness. Finally, unable to stand all the intrusion she had rushed out to the terrace and spent the next few hours there. Now that she was back inside the confines of the apartment, the silence was even more oppressive and the space even more threatening. Every where she turned, she could see him or hear his voice. And she simply wanted to run away from the knowledge that she would never again enjoy that sight or that sound.  

She ran out of the apartment once again, in her wet clothes still, without bothering to lock the door or find her keys. She kept punching the button for the elevator to come, almost sobbing in her frustration, but it seemed to be stuck on the 2^nd floor. Finally it inched its way up to the 13^th floor stopping at almost every floor on the way. When the elevator finally came, thankfully it was empty and she ran inside, frantically jabbing at the ground floor button willing it not to stop anywhere. But it stopped at the 7^th floor and a young couple got in, almost stopping short when they saw her drenched disheveled appearance. Her puffed up eyes and streaked face made her appearance even stranger. They drew into one corner of the elevator and studiedly ignored her while one of them pretended to study some defect in the flooring and the other suddenly found this extremely urgent message she had to reply to. Thankfully, neither of them said or asked anything. She kept fidgeting until she realized that her wet shoes were squeaking incessantly as she kept moving about. She then forced herself to be still. She looked at their faces and realized that while her world had turned completely upside down, the world outside was still going about its paces in utter ignorance and she wondered whether they even cared.

Reaching the ground floor, she walked out on her leaden legs into the rain, which had continued to pour without letting up one bit. As she stepped into the rain, an old couple who had stopped in the lobby tried to stop her. She turned to shake her head that it was alright and they stopped as they saw her face and her eyes. She stepped out on the street and narrowly missed being hit by a car that swerved wildly to avoid her. She was oblivious to the near hit and run, to the water that the car splashed on her. It was dark and a weepy kind of rain or perhaps it was just her emotions that colored the moment. She walked on, bumping into people who were rushing to get out of the rain, drawing angry glares at her slow bumbling steps. A cold chill seemed to creep into her and she shivered despite it being warm and humid. The numbness was now spreading to her limbs and they were slowly refusing to follow her wishes. She slowed down to the point where it seemed to take eternity for just one step forward.

Suddenly she saw a man’s head ahead that seemed just like His. A rush of blood to the head and that incredibly irrational relief overwhelmed her that she had found Him just ahead on the street when His body was supposed to be floating somewhere in the Seine. She somehow willed her body to rush ahead and almost fell on the man. She stumbled into him and knocked him off his feet. As they both went crashing down in a heap, she saw that it was not Him at all. The man barely helped her to her feet and left, desperate to get away from this scary woman who had clutched him and brought him down.  She was now despairing from the apathy around her, the blank uninterested faces, the remote stares and the disapproving looks. As if, her display of emotion was somehow a weakness that made her despicable and less than human, a shadow of the real one, the flawed piece that had been set aside as it was not strong enough. She turned away blindly, sobbing her frustration at the human walls around her. Bouncing and bumping into people around, she was at her wits end when suddenly, she found herself at the entrance to the park where they both would go and sit late at night. She walked by the hedges, running her hands through the cut stems, scraping her roughly where before they seemed to caress her lovingly. Even nature was turning against her or so it seemed.

She walked up to the bench where they used to sit, the large neem tree in front of it, staring at the stars as they sat hand in hand, whispering in the moonlight. It was wet in the rain, weeping in its own version of sorrow. She sank onto it holding on tight, hoping it would give her strength. But its hardness was forbidding and unyielding. She could not bear the harshness around her and sank down onto the slushy ground sitting in a puddle, whimpering her pain. Suddenly she felt her breath failing. She tried hard to draw the air into her lungs, wheezing with the effort. But it felt like there was an obstruction just down her throat and it was blocking the air from going in. A great weight seemed to be settling on her chest preventing her from dragging in a breath forcibly. She felt the darkness close around her and her vision fading from the edges, all turning black and slowly creeping inwards. Sinking slowly into the puddle that she sat in, she felt as if she were drowning in some pool of ink that threatened to swamp her very consciousness.

Suddenly, she seemed to see herself lying in the puddle below, hair matted in the mud, arms akimbo. She heard footsteps as an old man walked by unsteadily supporting himself with a stick and holding onto an insignificant umbrella. She tried screaming at him to help her, lying on the ground. But no sound came out of her. She tried waving her arms to attract his attention but it was almost as if he could not see her at all. All this while, she could feel the rain drops almost as if they were falling on the body lying on the ground. She moved about near the bench searching for someone, anyone who could help. But no one was around in the rain and it was getting darker by the minute. The water puddle slowly grew around the body as it lay in the rain until it almost reached the ears. She did not know whether the body was still breathing or alive and had no way of checking this. She could only sit there helplessly ineffective, a bystander that could not interfere in the drama at all, no matter what.

Suddenly, there was a loud crack and a bolt of lightning hit somewhere close by. There was static in the air that made it almost crackle. An acrid metallic smell seemed to suddenly blanket the area, tinged by wisps of something burning. With the crack, she felt herself sinking back slowly into nothingness. Little by little, she seemed to disappear into the body lying at her feet until she suddenly opened her eyes again and saw the sky, ink black and drops of water falling on her and all around. She realized with a start that she had woken up from whatever she had sunken into. Grabbing hold of the park bench, she pulled herself up and stood, the effort almost completely draining her and leaving her shivering. She forced herself to walk back again to the apartment, one tiny step at a time, deserted streets now offering no assistance, the streetlights throwing scary shadows that seemed to leap out at her. Another eternity passed until she reached the apartment and went through the routine of calling the elevator and getting off at her floor and walking down the corridor to her home. The phone was still buzzing like an angry bee, now even more upset at being ignored for so long. Was it a home anymore? Could it be a home without Him? The thoughts seemed to boomerang in her head until she decided she needed to be practical and realistic. She needed to find some comfort in routine and so decided to change and shower.

The hot water seemed to wash away some of the panic and fear. She felt distinctly better as she stepped out in her robe. She found a shirt of his in the washer and changed into it, enveloping herself with his smell and his warmth, pretending that it was him holding her and not the shirt. The feeling brought the tears afresh and with it, anger at the unfairness of it all. What right did he have to leave her like this, in the middle of nowhere with no one to turn to? How could he have done this to her? Anger shifted to unreasonable irritation and sought an outlet in victimizing her condition. She then saw herself in the mirror, almost bleached white and pale, hair lying like a limp bunch of hay, eyes wild and totally out of control. That sight did her in and she reached out for something, anything. Laying her hand on something solid, she simply threw it at the mirror, shattering it into pieces. She then saw that she had thrown the framed photograph of both of them in their last holiday in Bali. The frame had cracked and the photograph itself was lying under several pieces of glass. Not able to bear the sight, she went down on her knees and picked up the photograph, brushing the glass pieces off it, not noticing that she had cut herself on her knees and fingers in the process.

The intercom started ringing then, adding to the noise levels. She could not stand it anymore and simply disconnected both phones. She checked her mobile and found that it had died down, thanks to her usual forgetfulness to charge it. After all, it was he who put her phone on charge every night. The silence was blessed and she decided to clean up around the house. The activity helped calm her down as she went about sweeping all the glass off the floor and mopping up the trails of water she had left around the house, picking up all the clothes she had dropped. Suddenly she heard feet running down the corridor and stopped, frozen, almost praying that nobody would knock on her door now. The dreaded knock came, a pounding in fact that was impatient and urgent. She finally gave up trying to shut it out, changed and opened the door. The excited man at the door was obviously from the government and seemed to be losing his trail of words in his breathlessness. Finally, he stopped and started all over again, asking her about her not picking up the phones while they had been trying to reach her for the past several hours. She did not reply and he continued about some mistake in the earlier report and a confusion caused by a theft. None of it made any sense until, finally, his phone started ringing and cut him short. She sat down in a daze, hardly able to understand any of what was going on. Suddenly, the man shoved his phone into her hand, gesturing her to speak. She hesitantly took the phone up and placing it against her ear, said “Hello”. The soft “Nina?” at the other end stopped her completely short. It was His voice and it went on to ask her if she was OK. She froze in shock as He explained to her that he had been mugged and his coat and identification stolen last evening and that he had gone to the police to file a complaint in the morning when they had told him that the coat had been recovered in the river and that they had been searching the river for his body thinking he had been drowned. They had been trying to get through to her for the past few hours to tell her what had happened but they could not reach her. He was now in the airport waiting for his flight and would soon be back.

Her breath caught in her throat and seemed to remain that way, her face wan and pinched, eyes searching for that one face that would help end this all. She travelled in silence with the man first to the embassy and then to the airport, declining all help with a shake of her head, not speaking a word. It was almost as if she wanted her first words to be to him. The silent wait continued at the airport where she chose to wait. Several lifetimes passed while flights departed and landed, people left and arrived, but that one she was waiting for did not show up. One realizes the value of time when one is waiting for someone, each second an hour in itself and each hour a month. Finally they announced the arrival of the flight from Paris. She stood at the edge of the crowd, her eyes searching wildly as she scanned all passengers coming through. Finally, she saw him, striding forward impatiently and pushing people aside. Just the sight of him broke the dam and the tears poured down her face, the air travelled back through her lungs and she seemed to start breathing again. The air wheezed into her lungs as she mutely stood and watched him come towards her. He finally reached her and held her in a hug that seemed to inject life into her, giving strength to her starving senses and her dying soul. And then her arms rose and held him as fiercely as he did her, not wanting to let go ever, signs of a life renewed, a lifetime to be lived, the past hours a life in limbo - a suspended animation.